How things work

A friend of mine wrote this (and i'm posting it with her approval) but it describes my Lord's thoughts as well:

While I do think there is a difference between submission (inward desire or willingness to be under another's authority) and obedience (the outward actions of doing what another tells one to), I see the Scripture telling women very clearly that they need to be both obedient and submissive towards their husbands 'in every thing.' In the Greek, the same word is used for the obedience of wives and children, so such distinctions are hard to maintain. Plus, I think that a truly submissive attitude will lead to obedient actions, and I have always had a hard time understanding how a wife could submit inwardly without outward obedience.

My husband expects me to both obey and submit, quickly and completely. End of story.

He often asks my opinion on decisions he has to make, when he thinks there is a good reason to, but we are both clear that asking is part of the overall information gathering process, and he asks because he knows that I often have information that will be helpful in making that particular decision. He is not asking because I have an equal say in the decision that needs to be made, and he just as often doesn't ask me, sometimes because he has decided that I don't have additional helpful information and sometimes just because.......